just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
