Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
50% drunk capacity currently
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
