seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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