Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's official drugs can't kill me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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