I'm lost and stupid without you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
