Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
