Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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