2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
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Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.