I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.