Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
