My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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