WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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