4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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