I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
