Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
