So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
