we have pet lesbian snakes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
