I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you win again, gameday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
