How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize