can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize