That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
