Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
