So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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