I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
