i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
