So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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