Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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