Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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