Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
