So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
