im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We are all done wearing pants today
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
