her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
