Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize