i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
