Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
