And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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