Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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