I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
