I think I am morally bankrupt
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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