Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
