we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
