Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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