If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize