To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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