playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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