all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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