you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
