I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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