1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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