Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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