theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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