Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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