I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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