we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
