dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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