I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
