I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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