Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
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Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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