soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize