you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize