you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
